There’s a part of the self care journey I never see anyone talk about. The hard part.
Everyone always glorifies the journaling, the meditation, and flowers.
& Ahhh everyone knows there isn’t much a bath won’t help.
But nobody loves to bring up the hard part.
After feeling as though my world came crashing down, I slowly, begrudgingly started my journey of self love again. I journaled my heart away again. Actually, no. I have two journals I walk around with and jot hella things down. I don’t journal/free write as much as I used to yet.
I meditate. I’ve taken up yoga again. I stretch like a motherfucker.
And bathe like there’s an infinite supply of water. Though I admit, I’d always go into crisis mode in the tub where my dark passenger would try to convince me that I’m the reason Flint ain’t got clean water.
But then I got to the hard part. I sat down and truly visualized what I wanted in every aspect of my life. Every. Aspect. Then I began to understand the work behind it.
The hard part is discipline. It’s is prioritizing future you soooo much that you curve everything present you tries to trick yourself in engaging in. It’s cutting off toxic ass friends. It’s them trying to hit up your little sister of all people to start something and still being the bigger person.
It’s setting boundaries. With everyone. Friends, family, your lover and following through. It’s shedding your bad habits. It’s implementing new behaviors and following through.
It’s grieving. Not running away from any of your feelings and instead running towards them straight on to process them. It’s addressing your trauma.
It’s finding out who you are in this space and time. It’s understanding you’re ever evolving and growing. It’s articulating to others how you feel. It’s not mincing words or avoidance.
It’s forgiveness. It’s living in the fucking moment. It’s loving. It’s accepting love and compliments.
It’s discipline. I still want to lay in bed all day. I still want to eat greasy junk. I still want to just binge Netflix all day. But I want greatness. I deserve the life I envision for myself. You know why? Because why tf not. So the hard part is the crucial part.
I still have my days where I veg out. I curve working out. I sneak in a greasy burger, fries and a milkshake. But they’re not the norm and that’s enough for me.
Evolving is hard.
It’s also rewarding.
I can already see my body shaping up. I can already see things panning out how they should.
Remember, Luck is just preparation and opportunity lining up.
& yes lately I’ve been feeling like a lucky ass person.